A breakup is a tough experience to endure. Still, how to get over a guy you have grown accustomed to is even harder. Dealing with their absence in your life can lead to many nights of tears and loneliness. The good thing is, with the right attitude and mindset; you can get over a guy you like. It is possible. It has to be done. Do not be swayed by the myriad of books dedicated to getting him to commit, keeping your relationship spicy or keeping a man interested. This will only give you a fleeting and false sense of control. You know, deep down the man does not love you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to let him go.
Here are a few tips to help you get over a guy:
Acknowledge and accept
This is your first step to letting him go. Accept that you cannot be with him, regardless of how you feel about him. Take time to evaluate why the relationship may not have worked, but do not blame yourself for a failed relationship. Blaming yourself is a futile endeavor. As you delve deeper into why it did not work, do not overlook the things in that relationship that made you happy, or the traits that attracted you to him. Whatever reason that caused your relationship to fail, acknowledge, and accept it. This will make moving on from him easier. Once you have clarity on what happened in your relationship, you can proceed to the second step.
Cut off all contacts
You need to keep yourself away from the temptation and reminders of him. This includes; contact details (phone calls, and rendezvous), and clandestine (texts and tweets). It will give you space and time to start healing your broken heart. Remember, every time you call him or hang out with him, you set back the clock to your recovery. All your feelings come back, leaving you more confused and hurt. Take time away from him. Distance yourself from the things that remind you of him for a while until you get over him.
This may be a little different, especially if you cannot completely go cold turkey on him because you work in the same office, live in the same apartment building, or go to the same college. In such a case, cutting off all contacts may be impossible. However, you can opt out of events that you are not obliged to attend. You can also keep your conversations short and professional.
Allow yourself to wallow
Some women may feel ashamed of being devastated after a breakup. These feelings of hurt and rejection are normal. It is OK to feel bad and hurt because you loved this person and you probably miss him. If you cannot allow yourself to feel the pain, accepting the reality may prove difficult for you. Go ahead and have that pity party. Sit with your sadness and feel it. Cry as much as you want. Eat as much chocolate and candy as you can. Take a day off work to snuggle under your blanket, movie marathon, or have mani-pedis. This period is therapeutic. It will help you how to get over a guy fast by accepting what is, and within a few days or weeks, you will be ready to move on.
Also, do not isolate yourself for too long. Being alone will only give you more time to think about him. Staying close to people who understand what you are going through, is important. It will give you a secure base, and they will be available to support you emotionally.
Focus on yourself
This is the best time to focus on who you are. Put all your energy into yourself. Fill your schedule with activities that will enrich your life such as Yoga, or take this time to pursue your education further. You can learn a new language, start going to the gym or travel to different places. If you are a writer, use this time to write about what you are feeling, and what you are going through. Whatever your passion is, use this time to explore it.
These activities will help you to take your attention off him while helping you grow as well. You will come out feeling so much better about yourself and become a more fulfilled person than when you were with him.
Make a list of your strengths and greatest attributes.
Rejection has a way of lowering someone’s self-esteem. You may not be feeling as amazing or strong after a failed relationship. Take this time to remind yourself who you are. Create a list of your strongest qualities and strengths. This will help boost your confidence, and make you feel attractive, powerful, and able to pick yourself up and move forward. Cherish who you are by nurturing a relationship with yourself.
Give yourself credit
Acknowledge the progress you have made. Congratulate yourself for all the positive changes and decisions you have done through this time. Think about all the little things you have done to move forward. Making a list of your daily progress in your diary can be helpful. Hence, you will be able to look back and see how far you have come.
Get back out there
At this stage, whatever you were feeling for him will have significantly weakened. You will be feeling better about yourself and with a new perspective of life. Go out into the world to mingle and meet new people. Flirt if you want to. Remind yourself of how it is like to enjoy men. However, do not rush into another relationship just yet. Let yourself feel appreciated, attractive, and wanted. Use this time to enrich your life with new people and friends. Before you know it, you will be able to go a week or more without thinking about him.
At this point, you will have moved on. Your feelings for that guy will continue to diminish as the days go by. You will realize why it was never meant to be. You will be ready for bigger and better things to take his place.
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